Tone of Voice: A parent’s key to knowing the meaning behind the words.

Last weekend I took a coaching certification class offered at called Power/Empathy/Tone of Voice Concepts.  This is one of their “Advanced Mastery Classes” for coaching and teaching the courses they offer.  I”m busy working on some additional course content for the Redirecting Children’s Behavior Online Course so that I can continue to work on it myself while helping others.  If you aren’t on our mailing list and would like to learn more (and get a great parenting report) click here

I have not been the same person since taking this class.  You could call what happened a transformation learning experience of how I listen to myself and others.  I think that my emotional intelligence went up 1000 points over the weekend…

Here are two field reports I did right after each night of the class. You can tell I was tired and excited from what I learned. I’m going to focus on how to develop these skills closely for the next few months and will develop some course work to add to our Redirecting Children’s Behavior Online Class so that you can learn them as well. Keep your eye out for future content on this subject.

After you watch the videos keep reading to get the three major learning points I came away with from the class.

In the first video I talk about angry, frustrated and annoyed.  Three common ones for for all children and adults.

In the second video I go over guilt and disgust, two very common tone/feelings for shaming ourselves and others.

This amazing class was taught by my coach and mentor Pam Dunn.  As a parent of strong-willed boys of her own, she is a great source of insight into my parenting skills development.  She focuses on your emotional intelligence by teaching skills for understanding yourself and others.

I know– these two videos are packed with a lot of great information, but for those of you that are like me and prefer reading for learning new information, here is some of that I learned during the course that you can use with your parenting (and really any communications that have emotional charge).

Learning point 1: We communicate way more with our tone and our body language than we do with the words we use.  The younger your child is, the more he will listen to everything but your words.  

Learning point 2:  Listen and learn to adjust your own tone before you help others with their tone of voice, especially your family.  Mirror effective tone even in the most stressful situations to teach your children how to do it themselves.  This is one of the keys to emotional intelligence and emotional well being.

Learning point 3: To transform your tone, focus on the feeling first during a pause. Once you have identified the feelings that go with it, move to the specific ways Pam Dunn provides to transform how you approach the situation.  Look at the table at the end of her article to learn more. Another key to emotional intelligence and emotional well being. 

Recently we posted a chapter from Pam’s new book Its Time to Look Within.  The chapter is about noticing your tone of voice and the tone of voice of others.  She gives what each tone means and what to do to transform your tone or help others change their tone to something that will be more effective.  Check out the table at the end.

And look our for more on this subject in coming weeks. I’m still getting used to this new power to hear the meaning behind the meaning.

Tone: the verbal expression of our feelings

To learn more about this course and her other courses check out her website.